How do you get a black man out of a tree? Polite say "Hey you, get out of that tree."

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you dirty racist.

your mumma so fat she stepped on the weight scales and it says to be continued

" Hey you have something on your face. " ( man speaking punches the guy he was talking to ) " It was pain."

A man walks into a bar and brings a Snickers. He gets a beer, eats the candy, and leaves leaving the wrapper. The bartender is angry with the littering but cleans it up and serves another customer.

pinky ponky went a bit wonky oh no plz dont go or i will rape you untill you know

So this guy comes into a bar... Jizz eveywhere.

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names! *ba dum chzz*

A mexican Police officer walks into a crime scene. "Ouch." he exclaims, rubbing his forehead where a red bump is already surfacing.

Wade

What's the difference between women and a bucket? before 1923, women didn't have the right to vote. Bucket's still don't.

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely ask him to come down

Go online. why? To get a quote. why? To save money. Because we said so! Parenting can be hard. see how easy it is to save with GEICO.

Q: Do you know what Lady Gaga make for his birthday? A: A party

A man runs into a house and unloads a round of bullets killing 2 people in the kitchen. He wins Search and Destroy for his team at Nuketown.

Strawberries!

Did you hear about the man who thought his wife was trying to kill him? He's dead.

Q: What do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names...

call 803-389-9808 for a good time ;D

How do dinosaurs pay their bills? They don’t, dinosaurs don’t have a capital system.

Knock knock. Who's there? Not Heath Ledger.

So this guy walks into a bar. As soon as he gets in, a drunk dude punches him in the face ! The dude was drunk enough to not know what he was doing, but still sober enough to hit the guy hard ! So the guy had a cerebral commotion and died 2 days later.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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