- Anti Joke

You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose... But that's disgusting.

How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on how much you compress them.

If a woman was born in China, raised in France and got married and died in New Orleans, what is she? Dead.

Shut up and stop laughing, Daddy's balls aren't gonna lick themselves.

Why was the black guy charged for murder? He killed his wife.

This one sucks!

A friend of yours tells you his version of The Aristocrats. You just wasted about 5-20 minutes of your life.

a child logs on to anti-joke.com and proceeds to post dead baby jokes and jokes with punchlines that suit the build up. i am bitterly disappointed as are all the other fans of anti-joke.com who understand the humor of anti jokes

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

Your Mom's sooo fat that when she jumps into a pool her splash attack does damage :P

Come on Red, I am linked with the fucking global bank, that does not mean I go there and get the money! The FBI keeps tabs on absolutely everything, everybody knows that, if Mike Tyson has a cup of tea there, they file him down. Its legal, its secure and incredibly expensive, but the FBI stands for the security of the US alone, that does not mean that they do not work with every other corporation, organization, affiliation,syndicate, and pff, anything. If you suspect that I somehow went from being one of the key members of the underground, to a fucking FBI agent, you can believe that, but then dont ask me for help, nor be my friend, without trust there is no friendship.

Knock Knock. Who's There? Billy. Oh, come on in. You could have just knocked on my door or rang doorbell without saying "Knock Knock" though, that's kind of childish.

How do you stop a black guy from drowning? Take your foot off his head.

what's brown and sticky? a turd.

Did you hear about the big Polish tragedy? There was a power outage in Poland's busiest shopping mall, People were stuck on the escalators for 4 hours. A woman gave birth in the elevator and died.

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How does Helen Keller do her taxes? Unfortunately, she doesn't. Her friends have strongly encouraged her to proactively contact the IRS to see if she can undergo a repayment plan of some sort and obtain governmental assistance for her future filings.

what does a pickle and a computer have in common? ... they both have a mouse.

A: Knock Knock B: ...

Two hillbillies are sitting in a van. It's friday and one of them suggests they should play a game of 20 Questions. The other one agrees. The first hillbilly thinks of the word 'donkey dick'. - Is it something you can eat? the second hillbilly asks. - Yes, the first one replies. - Is it a donkey dick? - Yes.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the hospital? A: The victim of a violent mob attack

A black teenager drives an Escalade His father is a prominent lawyer and his mother is a neuroscientist.

Why did the man fall from the sky? Because he was dead.

Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: He was in one tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over to warn everybody in the other tower and while he was in the other tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on that park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich...not too much mayo...just the way he likes it.)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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