how do you get to your favorite chinese restaurant? Wok.

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What do you a call a guy on steroids? A Body Builder

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Because Goofy can walk on two legs, and is therefore superior to Pluto in Walt Disney's eyes.

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Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

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What do you call a baby in a blender? Child abuse.

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Whats the difference between babies and basketballs? You cant unload a truck of basketballs with a pitchfork.

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What's invisble and smells like bananas? My mailbox.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 for violence and mild nudity.

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What did the children in India eat for dinner?

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Q:why did the boy fall off the swing A:he had no arms Q:why couldn't he get up A:he had no legs Q:why did he die A:he fell in a puddle

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Why is it incorrect that the universe will end in 2012? Because profound idiocy doesn't always occur.

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What did the sting ray say to steve irwin? It doesn't matter , steve irwin is dead, dead as a doormat.

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"Want to hear a joke? Tough."

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Why did the black man wear a coat, shirt, pants, and underwear on a rainy day? Because he didn't want to be naked.

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What's worse than finding a fly in your drink? Gonorrhea.

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Q: What did the nomad get for christmas? A: Most likely nothing because he lives in the middle of nowhere where no stores exist. If anything, he got a sandstorm.

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What's big, yellow and green? The sun, i was kidding about the green

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Why did jack smell smoke in his neighborhood? His house burnt to the ground.

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A hipster gets summoned for jury duty. The case is solved promptly and everyone goes home happy.

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Q:Why do people not live forever? A: Because they die dumbass.

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How much carlins does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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so there was two ducks in a bathtub. one duck says to the other duck, "hey, can you pass me the soap? the other duck says no.

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where are the maternaty clothing in walmart???? The C section

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There are four dead people on a boat. They commit suicide. Why did they commit suicide. To get to the other side!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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