Q: what is funny today A: your parents died in a horrible car accident

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are red Violets are blue Your mom is dead And your dad is too

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what do a fish and wood have in common? when they're dead, they float

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A convict escapes a prison he's been in for 15 years. He's soon tracked down by police and put back in jail where he'll serve another 2 years of jail time along with his 5 remaining years.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a clock with no hands? Broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What was the pirates grade? Arrr That isn't a valid grade

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Jews... The only funny thing they did was piss off Adolf Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A fat man and his dog walk into a bar...the man buys a beer and walks out

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How did the cat die of indigestion? Indigestion

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call Americas first black president? A change.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what did the farmer say to the cowgirl that made her positive that she had a weird laugh? you have a weird laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the baby fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the moose say to the hunter? I don't know, what? Nothing, a moose is an animal therefore it can't say anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a black guy, a white guy, a mexican guy, and a chinese guy jumping out of a plane? Skydivers.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Have you ever had Ethiopian food before? No? Well neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are tits, Violets are tits, I love tits. Tits.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the Muslim have under his hood of his car? A V-8 engine.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

If your South American in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom? European ( your a pee an)

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the milkman die? Because everyone dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are dead Violets are dead Im a bad gardener

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What would Guy and Hemech's reactions be if they saw this joke up? They would see it from the newest jokes

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Drive an ax through its head.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops