Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

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Q: What did the peanut say to the shell? A: Its dark in here.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "I should've voted Democrat!"

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What happened to the lady with cancer?? She got shot!!

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What did the colonel say to the soldier before he got into the army tank? Get in.

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What did the murderer get for Christmas? Executed.

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Bill: Whats 2 + 2? Joe: Your mom

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Your momma's so fat: She feels excluded by mainstream clothing outlets.

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21

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What did the white man do when he got a black eye? He returned it to the crazed gentleman who sent it to him.

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What happened to all of the happy birds flying over the field? They were all suddenly stricken by the bird flu and died.

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Why did Helen Keller's cat kill itself? It didn't, I did.

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What did the blind man look at when the girl showed him her cleavage ? ... Nothing... He's blind... >_>

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What happened when the lawyer pissed all over the judge? He was thrown off the case, causing him to go home, rape his wife, and put a bullet into his child's head.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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What do you a call a guy on steroids? A Body Builder

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how do you get to your favorite chinese restaurant? Wok.

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What do you get if you cross a banana, a mango, and an apple? A smoothie

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Why did the man stand on one foot? Because he had one leg.

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the man the invented it doesnt want it, the man that wants it doesnt need it, and the man the needs it doesnt know it....what is it? a coffin.

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What's invisble and smells like bananas? My mailbox.

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Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

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What did the sting ray say to steve irwin? It doesn't matter , steve irwin is dead, dead as a doormat.

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Whats the difference between babies and basketballs? You cant unload a truck of basketballs with a pitchfork.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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