Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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what do you say when you see a winner weaner

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Why are fat people fat? Because they like food.

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How do you make sushi if you are a fish? Commit suicide and sell yourelf to a sushi resturant!

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Did you hear about Helen Keller's dog? Neither did she.

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You know what is really annoying? An annoying baby that wont stop crying while you are trying to do very important work.

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What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? There are many, no human being is exactly alike.

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What did the Black construction worker say to the Asian salesman? I want some milk.

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why did little suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock: Who's there? Not little suzy Why did the car crash? Little suzy was driving Why didn't little suzy ride her bike home? She died of her injuries from the car crash

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obama's promises

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What's the difference between a BMW and pile of dead babies? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

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Whats the difference between a jewish man wearing a fedora and glass of almond milk? Ones a glass of almond milk.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say orange? Well, you shouldn't be. I came to inform you your entire family died in a car crash.

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Q. What does a rock and a bird have in common? A. Everything. Except a bird can fly and has wings and can breath and eats and makes babies...

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what's the difference between a dog and a sheep? one's a dog and the other isn't.

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Why did the father beat his daughter? To alleviate stress.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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What is funnier then 25 9/11

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You: Mike and Steve were playing chess, who won? Them: Mike You: no, it was steve

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<=-[ J1MMY | Dubstep Maniacs Crew 4 Life ]-=>

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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[Insert Stereotypical Joke, And Insert Logical Answer Here] Anti - Anti-Joke

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Man walks in the bar then buys a drink

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What do you do when you have 2 eggs, but only want to use 1? I don't know. I guess you could just use 1 of them and save the other for another time?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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