how many aliens does it take to change a light bulb? i wouldn't know, i have never seen one and there is the off chance that they don't even exist

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Why did the mass murderer abandon his killing spree? He found out it was illegal.

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You wanna hear a JOKE !?? Justin Bieber has a DICK !!

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What's the difference between an elephant and a toaster. A lot of things.

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A hipster gets summoned for jury duty. The case is solved promptly and everyone goes home happy.

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5

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What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come home from camp.

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Why did the man not make any change at his job? Because he is Barack Obama.

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your mom is so old. she can legally get a senior discount

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Why did the jew die Really...

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

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Twenty-Four

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What's the difference between a duck, an engineer, and a leaf? There are many differences between these 3 that I will not list them all.

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"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains." "Well that sounds like a mental illness and I deal predominantly with physical ailments"

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had an extra penis.

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? no eye deer! -jpow

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What do you call a clock with no hands? Broken.

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What did the priest say to the nun? ... I don't know, I wasn't there.

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a Black Swan walks into a bar......,,,.she then has hallucinations and imagines herself having lesbian sex with Mila Kunis...

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What do you a call a person who can't fly. A person.

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knock knock who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill Smith, we went to high school together. Oh hey Bill, come on in.

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A man is training his dog. He tells the dog to sit. The dog sits. "Good boy!" said the man. The dog did not thank the man for the compliment because dogs cannot speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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