What rhymes with popscicle and weighs at least 300 pounds? Your mom. I lied about the popsicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Terrorist walked into the bar, all dead, except for a small child. The police came and asked the boy: "Boy, how I survived the blast?" The boy answered: "I'm not a boy, I am broccoli"

thumb_up thumb_down +43

how do you save a black guy from drowning. with a life preserver.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's the difference between a freezer and a baby? A freezer doesn't scream when I pack my meat into it.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

thumb_up thumb_down +41

terry stockton is straight

thumb_up thumb_down +39

two nuns were driving in Transylvania when a vampire jumps out in front of their car the first nun said "show it your cross" so the secong got out of the car and yelled Get out of the way you pric!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +39

, , /^\ ___ /^\_/ `...' /` ,__\ ,' ~ ( ,___\ ,, ., \ \___ \\\ .'.' .-. ) .'.-\\\`.`. '.-. ( / (==== ."". ( o ) \ ,/u `~~~'| / `-' ) "")^u ^u^|~| `""". ~_ / /^u ^u ^\~\ ". \\ _ /u^ u ^u ~\ ". \\ ( \ )^ ^U ^U ^U\~\ ". \\ (_ (\ /^U ^ ^U ^U ~| ". `\ (_ _ \ )U ^ U^ ^U ^|~| ". `\. (_ = _(\ \^ U ^U ^ U^ ~| ".`.; (_ -( _\_)U ^ ^ U^ ^|~| "" (_ = ( ^ U^ U^ ^ U ~| (_ - ( ~ = ^ U ^U U ^|~/ (_ = (_^U^ ^ U^ U / (_- ~_(/ \^ U^ ^U^," (_ = _/ |^ u^u." (_ (/ |u^ u.( (__/ )^u^ u/ /u^ u^( |^ u^ u/ |u^ u^( ____ |^u^ u( .-' `-, \^u ^ \ / ' .---. \ \^ u^u\ | ' ` ; | \u^u^u:` . `-' ; | `-.^ u`._ _.'^'./ "-.^.-```_=~._/ `"------"' Seahorse

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How do you get a blonde to break a nail? Smash her finger with a wrench.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A black man and a mexican jump from a tree. Who hits the ground first? The mexican. The black man had a rope tied around his neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Roses are red Kittens are fluffy This doesn't rhyme Cupcake

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why wasn't the clown funny? He didn't have a face

thumb_up thumb_down +37

ecks! why zee?

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the wealthy black man shoplift from the convenience store? He is a kleptomaniac.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

i hate it when Voldemort showers in my nutella

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call a dead baby lying in the road? A Tragedy

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Your mom is so fat that when she went to the Doctors, He said she was slightly over weight

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's black and white and red allover and can't fit through the door? A nun with a spear through her neck

thumb_up thumb_down +37

bob saget

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Kenny died. The Bastards.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

myspace

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

roses are red violets are blue i ate a peanut lets go have sex

thumb_up thumb_down +35

There is a bomb. It blows up and kills 26 people.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops