How do you make someone to go away from you? You rape them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rape him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rape him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Why did sam and jolanda drop their pudding? They got hit by a flying tree.

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What is smelly and sticky A poo

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"Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?" said the little girl. "I don't know", said the mother," we were robbed of all our money and posessions. And your father was killed while we were gone.

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what did the little boy say to little girl? I shit bricks.

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What's the difference between an orange and a dead baby? One is a popular citrus fruit commonly grown in Florida, and the other is a horrible tragedy, possibly caused by miscarriage or a serial killer, who was hopefully immediately jailed for his actions.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call it, he isn't coming. Posted By: Lram

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what happened to your gran you tell me

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Why did Old Man Robert fall down the stairs? Someone kicked him down. And then he died.

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Antijoke the book. Seriously it sucks ass, do not bother, they only included the very worst ones.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir......my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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What did my dad say when i knocked over the christmas tree? nothing, my father is dead

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What's retarded and comes from Hulsberg? Roy Knubben

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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what smelss like crap.... CRAP dose DUH

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XD I must like, really be into you, God I cannot breathe XD, that is like the most disgusting thing I have heard in my life, but coming from you that just comes out so quaint! XD

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How do you confuse a blond? Begin talking to her about a subject that's not in her field of expertise using complicated technical verbiage and jargon.

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What do a Jew and a Vegan have in common? They both won't eat pork products.

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You know what sucks? Yes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -Why? I don't know,I'm asking you the question.

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Why was the light on in the house ? A. the owners were using it

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Shut up and stop laughing, Daddy's balls aren't gonna lick themselves.

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Melbourne Football Club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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