Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the hospital? A: The victim of a violent mob attack

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Why did the chicken cross the road? WHO CARES!!

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Your mama's so fat she can't have children.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Why did the mathematician cross the road? To get his mail.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

A man and a dog were sitting on a hill, the dog says to the man "Nice weather we are having today isn't it?" The man then goes insane because dogs can't talk, then later commits suicide from depression caused by his wife leaving him.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

You might be a Redneck...if your job requires you to work long hours out in the sun and you do not take advantage of sunscreen.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? Probably one. Replacing a light-bulb is a pretty simple task which any person (regardless of ethnicity) should be able to do without assistance.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Roses are red-ish Violets are blue-ish If it weren't for Jesus we'd all be jewish

thumb_up thumb_down +52

No I do not think that, that would be a wasted thought.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Q. Why Did The Blond Have The Biggest Boobs In The Third Grade? A. Because She's 21

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What has 4 eyes and can't see. Blind siamese twins!

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why did Doctor Who visit Ancient Greece? Because has a time machine and has that ability

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Roses are red Violets are blue Your ugly

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A Blonde, a Brunette, and a Red head walk into a bar They are friends from school and have not seen each other in 15 years; they are hoping to have a good night out

thumb_up thumb_down +44

, , /^\ ___ /^\_/ `...' /` ,__\ ,' ~ ( ,___\ ,, ., \ \___ \\\ .'.' .-. ) .'.-\\\`.`. '.-. ( / (==== ."". ( o ) \ ,/u `~~~'| / `-' ) "")^u ^u^|~| `""". ~_ / /^u ^u ^\~\ ". \\ _ /u^ u ^u ~\ ". \\ ( \ )^ ^U ^U ^U\~\ ". \\ (_ (\ /^U ^ ^U ^U ~| ". `\ (_ _ \ )U ^ U^ ^U ^|~| ". `\. (_ = _(\ \^ U ^U ^ U^ ~| ".`.; (_ -( _\_)U ^ ^ U^ ^|~| "" (_ = ( ^ U^ U^ ^ U ~| (_ - ( ~ = ^ U ^U U ^|~/ (_ = (_^U^ ^ U^ U / (_- ~_(/ \^ U^ ^U^," (_ = _/ |^ u^u." (_ (/ |u^ u.( (__/ )^u^ u/ /u^ u^( |^ u^ u/ |u^ u^( ____ |^u^ u( .-' `-, \^u ^ \ / ' .---. \ \^ u^u\ | ' ` ; | \u^u^u:` . `-' ; | `-.^ u`._ _.'^'./ "-.^.-```_=~._/ `"------"' Seahorse

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Roses are red Kittens are fluffy This doesn't rhyme Cupcake

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A fossil.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Whats worse than finding a bad anti-joke on this website? Dieing of Genital Warts

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

what happened to the man with no arms or legs when he was pushed down a hill? nobody knows he is still going ........................................................................

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Roses are red. Violets are red. Tulips are red. My garden is on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What do you call a baby in a blender? The newest Doritos dip.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

roses are red violets are blue i ate a peanut lets go have sex

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops