Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Elephants cant jump Neither can amputees

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When a suicide-bomber when to heaven what did Allah give him apart from 72 virgins? 72 mothers in law.

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Q:Why did the man fall down the stair I don't know? A:Because he wasn't careful

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Your Mum's so fat, she's going to die.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? I agree to the terms of service.

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What's the difference between me and convicted pedophile? -The pedophile's been caught ;)

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why did ya dad eat ya food?? because ya sister

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Your mother is so black...because she recently suffered a horrible accident with fire and has irreparable skin damage.

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What's round and bounces A basketball No!!!!!!! You dummy!!! Then what? Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Two aspies don't walk into a bar.

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A man tells his wife to leave the kitchen

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. No, the Holocaust never happened, you're an idiot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because he was hungry and mcdonalds was across the street

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Why did the black man go to the gym? Because he was severely fat and would live a short life if he didn't lose weight.

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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What do Michael Jackson and your family have in common? They're both dead.

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BBC have a new porn channel. C Boobies...

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How are friends like bananas? If you peel off their skin and eat them, they die.

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This guy goes to the ball game. He waits in line at the concession stand and gets a footlong hot dog and a giant orange soda. Then he makes his way around to his section of the stadium, and works his way to his seat, which is in the center of the row. Right when he's about to take a bite of his hot dog, when he hears someone in the seats way up behind him yell "Hey! Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, and sets down his giant orange drink, stands up and turns around, scanning the crowd. Eventually he sits back down. He picks up his hot dog, picks up his giant orange drink, and is just about to take a bike when he hears it again, someone way up behind him yelling "Hey! Mike!". So, he sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, and scans the hundreds of faces in the seats behind him. After a while, he sits back down. Then, right when he's about to bite into his hot dog, he hears someone behind him yelling "Mike! Hey, Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, cups his hands around his mouth and yells as loud as he can, "My name's not Mike!"

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What do you call a dog with three legs, is blind, and has terminal cancer? UnLucky

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Why did the black man have to stand in the bus? All of the other seats were taken.

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What do you call a black man in a truck A driver

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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