Q: what do you call a muslim driving a plane? I don't know A: 9/11

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More mindfuck "government hypnosis edition": What can doctors possibly do in order for you to wait enough for them to come to help you? They call you "their PATIENT!" Moral: So be patient and wait, oh thee brainwashed.

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Why did my brother drive the speed limit? Because it's the law

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Follow the Yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road........except it's not yellow.

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The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

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Why wasn't the black woman allowed on the bus? It was rush hour and the bus was full.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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why are black people so good at basketball? because they all can run jump steal and shoot

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Walruses are basically saber-toothed seals. That does not affect the fact that they are awesome.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Billy. Billy who? Billy your next door neighbor, I need to borrow some sugar. Ok, come in.

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Scene:restraunt Me:can I have a coke please? Waiter:sorry we don't have any, is Pepsi ok? Me:is monopoly money ok?

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a registered sex offender.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A human pretending to be a dog A human pretending to be a dog who? Errr...I mean...woof

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Yo mamas so stupid that she received slightly below average in her latest maths test

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What's worse than cancer? Death.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Simple poke her face.

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knock, knock. come in.

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What is the unltimate Jewish dilemma? Free pork

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why was the girl sleeping on the ground? because she was dead

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hi im phill

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Why did the elephant cross the road? The chicken was on vacation.

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How do you stop a baby from falling into a manhole? You catch it, and then call the appropriate services and inform them of the dangerous open manhole.

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What is the difference between your mom and a cow? One is a 1,500 pound beast, and one is a human being.

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Bill:Ask me to do something. Bob:Go get me a beer Bill:Would you like fries with that?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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