Two scientists walk into a bar. One says "I'll have H20", the other says "I'll have a beer." The first one is the one to drive them to their homes.

What did the chicken say when it crossed the road? Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

" Hey you have something on your face. " ( man speaking punches the guy he was talking to ) " It was pain."

Q. how do you get 50 babies into a bowl? A. blender Q. how do you get them out of the bowl? A. Doritos

Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made the man who said shut up mad so he told the man to shut up.

How do you get 2000 people to go to heaven? Blow up a school.

Why was the man thought to be peculiar? Because he had sex with a pistachio.

Why did the man fall off the cliff? I pushed him????????

I never asked for this.

How do you kill a mocking bird? You throw an axe at it.

What is the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.

When Michael Jackson was making his last son, he named him Blanket... he was cold.

pickle juice?

What did the Batman say to the Joker? "I am the Batman."

shea kisses a girl

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. He values his privacy and will not tell me his motives.

Barack Obama, George W. Bush and Dick Cheney are in a room, what are they doing? A: Breathing

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out it's an orange

What did the one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers!!

What do call a limbless man swimming? Dead.

An Irishman, a homosexual and a Jew walk into a bar. Paddy's really exploring his options lately.

What the difference between a alien and you nothing

what is the awesomest of them all? me

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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