Little Jimmy has 100 candy bars, and he eats 95 of them. What dies little Jimmy have? Diabetes

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A family of aristocrats walks into a talent agency and shows their performance. The talent agent asks: "How do you call yourselves?" They say: "The Aristocrats", "because that's what we are; Aristocrats."

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Q. Why did the middle-aged man need glasses? A. The man's father had poor eyesight and therefore could not see well without the help of glasses.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Look at that bitches asss!!

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How do you scare a blonde woman? Tie her up and mutilate her family while she watches.

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis

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A man on crutches walked across the road. Suddenly he fell and sprained his foot. He was pleased that he was carrying crutches.

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Why was the ghost boy sad? He was attending his own funeral.

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What's bigger then a bowling ball? What? Your mom!

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if x marks the spot, what does y do? y does the laundry.

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What's red and hurts you? A brick.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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A man walks into a doctors and says 'Doctor, Doctor, I have a bad stomach ache' Upon hearing this, the doctor writes the man a prescription for medication and wishes him a swift recovery.

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You're Adopted.

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Hello

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what is the vent wound on the ladies that can never heal???

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Knock, knock. Whose there? Tits. Tits, who? SUCK EM'!

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What do you call something that has two legs, arms and is bloody all over? My ex's new boyfriend.

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Who would win in a fight between a polar bear and a tiger? Considering that they live in different habitats, the chances are very unlikely that they would ever interact.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Nock Nock. Whose there? The chicken.

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why couldn't the chicken cross the road? it was hit and killed by a vehicle, much like all animals that try and cross roads. created by KA

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"How come dinosaurs don't talk?" " I don't know. Why?" " Because they're dead."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops