What is black and blue and red all over? Rihanna

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How do you fix America's national security issues? Nuke russia

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Try saying "Good Eye Might" without sounding Australian.

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why did little johnny scream. he was getting torn to pieces

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What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? My d**k.

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What's the difference between a freezer and a baby? A freezer doesn't scream when I pack my meat into it.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Because I'm colorblind

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3 guys walk into a bar....dont you think one would see it ?

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What kind of coins to you find at the bottom of the ocean? Wet coins.

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why do birds fly away when you go near them? incase your black

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Why did the guy throw a clock out his window? Because he was mentally unstable and needs help.

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Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

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Why was the boy crying? Because his parents were in a car crash and died and his grandparents were already dead and he got cancer for christmas. And he had no testicles

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Why does it matter, they can't chuck wood in the first place.

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roses are red violets are blue i ate a peanut lets go have sex

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Chuck Norris once went skydiving. his parachute did not deploy. where he landed is now known as the grand canyon

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Who has killed more people than Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, and Jack Kevorkian combined? Mr. Rogers

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How much does a polar bear way? Near 1,100 pounds.

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What did the widow get for her birthday? Nothing from her husband.

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What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Your best friend is different from a dead person. The best friend will die if you shoot him in the head but the dead person won't die, he's already dead.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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The internet is the most terrible fucking place in existence.

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Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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