how do you get someone out of a chair? hit him with a shovel

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender says "what'll it be?" The bartender is then sent to a medical clinic after letting several wild animals into his bar and proceeding to feed them alcoholic drinks. He is diagnosed with schizophrenia.

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Womens rights.

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You might be a Redneck...if your job requires you to work long hours out in the sun and you do not take advantage of sunscreen.

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What's worse then a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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A guy in a truck delivering furniture runs over a frog. Concerned for the frog, he pulls over and runs back to the frog and asks "Are you ok?" The frog replies "Yeah, you want to buy a cupboard?"

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What rhymes with popscicle and weighs at least 300 pounds? Your mom. I lied about the popsicle.

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Why didn't the woman believe in God? Her own personal beliefs.

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What do men and women have in common? They're both respected members of society, besides women.

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If life throws you melons you might be dyslexic, but you also might not be.

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what do you call a mixbreed of a bull dog and a shitzu? a sharpei

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Q: how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A: 14

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A Priest, a Minister, and a Rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, a joke?"

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "How's it going?" The man replies, "Bless you." The man walks out of the bar, as his peers realize he was honest when he told them a week earlier that he had autism.

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I took your mother out to a fine seafood dinner. I never called her again.

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What is worse than a fly in your soup? Getting hit by a train.

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What did the bartender say to the bugatti owner? "Don't drink and drive"

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I baked you a pie! Oh boy! What flavor? Apple.

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What has 2 brown legs and 2 gray legs? An elephant with diarrhea.

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Why did the bus fall down? It was hit by a bus and then repeatedly battered by a blender

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What is worse than a baby nailed to a tree? The holocaust. What is worse than 20 babies nailed to a tree? A baby nailed to 20 trees.

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Whats worse than finding a bad anti-joke on this website? Dieing of Genital Warts

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whats the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? the ferrari is not in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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