God bless America, and no where else.

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When life gives you lemons make lemonade, when life gives you apples make apple juice, when life gives you cranberries make cranberrie juice and then when live gives you mangos, Eat them :)

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat

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A Black Man walks into a bar...

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Knock Knock Who's there? ImBrewn

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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What's the difference between a cake and Jews? A cake comes out of the oven.

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YOLO.

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How to you kill two birds with one stone? You use a precision hunting rifle to mortally wound two flying birds, then put them on a platform and break their skulls with one rock. Separately.

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A pig, a chicken, and a cow are born on 3 separate barns. They are raised by old men who subside off the grains of the field. When the animals mature, the farmers will butcher the pig, slaughter the chicken, and gut the cow. The farmer who raised the chicken may enjoy a few eggs first but the animals will all die eventually. Either of natural causes or more likely being butchered for profit. Cows make milk.

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Salad. It's green and so is The Hulk.

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Two blonds are driving to Disneyland. While there driving they see a sign "Disneyland: left" So they started crying and headed back home.

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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What happens when you drop the soap in Prison? You pick it back up and go about your business.

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What is black at the bottom, and white at the top? Society.

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Knock knock Who's there? A very long space I see what you did there

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Q: What's big, brown, and smell like crap? A: Turd.

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What did the police officer say to the black man? "I am a police officer."

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Why didn't the man finish his dinner? His dinner was a wheelchair.

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What do you call a dog eating a dead dog? A hungry dog

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Why didn't peyton manning's grand mom call him after his game? She died of throat cancer 5 years ago

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How did the old man keep the kids off his lawn? By molesting their Moms.

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Person 1: Why do eskimos wash their clothes in tide? Person 2: It works very well.

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How did the blind man watch T.V? With the captions on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops