A man walks into a bar.....he then slips on an ice-cube and suffers massive trauma due to the fall. The owner is sued by the mans family and subsequently loses his business. He can no longer provide for his family. His wife is two weeks away from giving birth to their third child.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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What does a Dominican and a Russian have in common... they are both thinking of a funny anti-joke to post on this site...

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Ask me if I'm a tree... Are you a tree? No.

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How did the suicide bomber die? Cancer.

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Womens rights

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pretend its saturday.... what is the square root of 9? who cares? everyone knows that you don't do math on saturday.

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Why didn't peyton manning's grand mom call him after his game? She died of throat cancer 5 years ago

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia ...where am I

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Q:Why did the man fall down the stair I don't know? A:Because he wasn't careful

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a shark in your apple.

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Q:If an apple and an orange had a politicial debate, what would it concern? A:Nothing important.

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How many spiders dose it take to cover a wall? Four, if they are 7 feet tall

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What did one paper bill say to the other? Did you hear about one of us getting replaced by a woman? It's like Bruce to Caitlyn!

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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So a priest, a rabbi, a blonde and a black person walk into a bar. The Bar Tender says, "Is this some kind of joke"

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Yo momma's so fat she is now a sponsor for Jenny Craig after joining the program and loosing almost a 100 pounds. So I suppose she isn't too fat anymore.

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ok, a family walks into a talant agency, the talent agent says "What can you do". The family breaks out into a sing and dance routine, and do nothing sexual in their routine.

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yo mama's so fat her stomach mass weighs more than people who dont have as much fat as her.

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What rhymes with 'stick' and is brown? A stick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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