A farmer had a horse that he rode frequently. He would talk to the horse and tell it it was his closest companion. One day the farmer noticed that the horse was walking funny. So he shot it.

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What happens when you throw a green stone into the red sea? It gets wet.

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How do you shoot a basketball? With your hands

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who likes fried chicken? almost everyone because fried chicken is delicious

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How do you call a black man selling fruits ? Yes, but I'm not sure

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peter charastabopouloulous

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If pinocchio said "my nose is going to grow", what would happen?

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I'm a brony. I'm a brony. I'm a brony. Screw this shit, I'm not a brony anymore. I'm a man. I'm a man. Screw this too. I'm dead, not in bed.

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Three Jews are hiding under the floorboards. One of them makes and noise and they are promptly found by the invading German soldiers. They are all shipped to Aushwitz where two of them are sent directly to the gas chambers where they are killed. The third Jew survives the Holocaust and is eventually liberated by Allied forces. He returns to his country only to find his house burnt to the ground. With no money or food, he starves to death by the side of the road and his body is eaten by various animals.

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Why did Jack explode? He had a sneezier and his army friend Stephan threw a grenade at him because he was scared.

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Q: Why did the Klansman go up to acclaimed rapper and television star, Flavor Flav, and say "Do you know what time it is, boy?" A: Because his trademark "bling" seems to be an actual functioning time piece. Q2: Why did that same Klansmen brutally murder Flavor Flav after he learned it was 5:46 in the pm? A2: Becasue Flavor Flav is black and that's kinda what you're expected to do in the Klan...

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Let's not pick mushrooms in heaven.

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how do you starve a man who is on welfare? hide his food stamps under his work boots.

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Why did the fat man go to America? Because he was excited to get of work for vacation.

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What happens when you mix Fluorine, Uranium, Carbon, and Potassium? NaBrO

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Knock knock Who's there? A ghost A ghost who?

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How many dull people does it take to replace a lightbulb? One.

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What did the dog say to the mouse? Cat

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Know what's worse than three bee stings? living every day in fear of your schizophrenic hallucinations

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Your mom.

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Person 1 : i need to sneeze Person 2 : ok ( person 1 sneezes ) Person 2 : bless u ( few seconds later ) did u sneeze? Person 1 : yep :)

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What happened to the black man when he was eating a Tootsie Roll? He ate the entire thing but was still hungry due to the empty calories.

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How many Jews does it take to fix a gas leak?...

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A man is talking nonsense at a wall when another man walks up to him. "Why are you talking at a wall?" "I'm trying to appease the mighty wall god Kaleothayrhonka." "Cool, let me join you!" And they both talk at the wall for hours on end because they are stupid that way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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