A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy? Nothing. He's been dead for over three years.

You've heard of take your child to work day, but I bet you haven't heard of 9/11- take your plane to work day

What do you call a black man in a Police car? A Police Officer

What do you call a dog that's having a stroke? An emergency animal hospital.

There was a man workin at the supermarket, when a cow with a hat entered. He realized that it couldn't be really happening and had to be a dream. Effectively: he was dreaming. Actually, he was in jail, and his execution was scheduled for that day.

Chicken eats your pie filled with monkey guts!!

What do you call Eric Torres A furnace magnet

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the hospital? A: The victim of a violent mob attack

Give this a thumbs up cuz mi spelin is baad

Knock knock? Who's there? To. To who? To WHOM.

What's the difference between a cow and a purple sweater? They're both purple Besides the cow

What do you get when you cross a donkey and a hemophiliac? A bleeding ass!

What did Aaron Pfeifer say to Zach Faller ? Yee

Knock Knock! .... Knock Knock! ... There seems to be nobody at home...

Why is Pawn Stars the best show on the History Channel? Because Pawn Stars is the only show on the History Channel.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He then proceeds to ask his wife not to leave her clothing around the house.

A white man walking dpwn the street finds a brief-case with a timer on it. A young muslim man says he dropped it. The white man then asked "What's the timer for"? The young man said, "Nothing really, just helps keep the time." They both went their separate ways.

Holocaust jokes are not funny. My Grandpa died in the Holocaust... He fell off of the guard tower.

What is green and has weels? A green bycicle.

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

how do you get someone out of a chair? hit him with a shovel

Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they are highly trained astronauts taking part in a multi-year space journey to explore part of the solar system that man has never dreamed to be feasible.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Suicide.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...