So a catholic priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a beer.

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What do you do when you see Godzilla? You offer him ice cream.

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Why do blondes where pigtails? Because they look nice.

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american government

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1 Jew XD

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What do you get when you cross sodium citrate, citric acid, benzyl alcohol, monoethanolamine, sodium benzoate, gylcol disterate, FD&C Yellow #5, ammonium lauryl sulfate, methylisothiazolinone, fragrances/perfumes, FD&C Blue #1, sodium chloride, zinc pyrithione, methylchloroisothiazolinone, ammonium xylenesulfonate, ammonium laureth sulfate, cetyl alcohol, cocamide, guar hydropropyltrimonium chloride, 1-Decene, homopolymer, hydrogenated, trimethylolpropane tricaprylate and water? Head & Shoulders Dandruff Shampoo for Fine-Oily Hair

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your Bike.

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what do you call a man with three eyes and eleven fingers? his name

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Charlie Sheen walks into a bar... Every morning, and stays until it closes... [credit gilbert gottfried]

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I'm a like whore

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What did the cashier say to the customer? You're total is $27.95

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What do you get when you cross North Korea and the boston marathon? BOMBS! :(

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What was Hellen Keller's Dog's name? Kamikaze Go, it was the first Akita Dog in the United States.

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What's the difference between a live baby and a dead baby? A dead baby doesn't cry.

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YOLO.

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How to you kill two birds with one stone? You use a precision hunting rifle to mortally wound two flying birds, then put them on a platform and break their skulls with one rock. Separately.

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A pig, a chicken, and a cow are born on 3 separate barns. They are raised by old men who subside off the grains of the field. When the animals mature, the farmers will butcher the pig, slaughter the chicken, and gut the cow. The farmer who raised the chicken may enjoy a few eggs first but the animals will all die eventually. Either of natural causes or more likely being butchered for profit. Cows make milk.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue this poem sucks, GET OVER IT -brett

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Why was six afraid of seven You would be scared to if your name was six and you knew someone named seven

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What did the doctor say to the little boy? Pull down your pants and cough.

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Seriously tho, too much sex? I need to know dog.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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Knock Knock Who's there? ImBrewn

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why is the name Brian so funny BECAUSE IT IS!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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