How did the blind man know when to open his parachute when he went skydiving? The leash went slack.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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What's the difference between a Duck and Michael Jackson? A Duck has feathers and goes "Quack quack" and Michael Jackson touches little boys......

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What did the man do when he was tired Nothing he went to bed

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Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Some men are blind.

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What does a blond see when she looks at a dog? A four legged mammal, refered to as canis lupus familiaris, or what is commonly known as a dog.

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The game!

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What did Anne Frank get for christmas? Nothing Anne Frank is jewish.

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--"Do you like impressions?" -Yeah! --"Why?" ................... --"That was Socr-ates."

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Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Wieners? A: Nothing. your last name is a male sex organ

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A man opens his sock drawer, grabs his socks and puts them on.........He dies 5 minutes later.

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how do you make a plummer cry? you kill his family

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Two Jews walk into a bank. They make a deposit and leave.

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DAMMIT MY IPHONE IS IN REPAIR AND I CANT GET THE APP!!!!!!!

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How do you survive in the wilderness? You nail an orphan to a rock underwater.

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why did the white man jump out of the car? because the car was crashing

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Your mom is such a slut, she had unprotected sex at least once.

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So there are 5 people on a plane the president, a movie star, and man who is on the verge of making world peace, the smartest man in the world, and the pope the piolt has a heart atack at and the plane will crash soon there are only 4 parachutes. So the first is Obama and he saysI won a Nobel piece prize and I run American see ya later and he takes the parachute next Steven hawking says sory pope Im taking this because I don't believe in God and black holes are cool so he takes the parachute and jumps out. Next Charlie Sheen says I need to entertain people and keep the drug dealers in business so he. Takes the parachute and jumps out. Then Francis turns to the hippie and says if you achive world peace it may help eliminate some poverty so you take the last paratute and jump out then the hippie says in return no its OK Steven Hawking took my back back. When they land they decide to serch for Steven's body and they find nothing. You see Steven Hawking had taken his own paratute with him and took the Hippies backpack to sell it and make some money

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What did America get on the 11th September? 9/11

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Q:Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree A: No

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why do some Jewish people have big noses? There religion doesn't affect the size of there nose it really depends on genetics, like the if there parents had a big nose, or a small one would probably affect the size of a Jewish person nose

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Why did the Jew wear a beanie while playing soccer? Because he shaved his head

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Why did the little boy cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken

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69

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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