Why i'm breathing? I don't want die.

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Your momma is so fat, that her doctor recommended that she goes on a diet in order to prevent early death caused by a heart problem.

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After filling her car up with gas, a woman leaves the gas station with the pump still attached to her car. Why did this happen, you ask? It was a silly mistake anyone could have made.

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What did the veterinarian say to the dog? Ohhh who is a good dog? You are!

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If you stretch all your skin out in a line, you will die of blood loss or possible infection

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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When a suicide-bomber when to heaven what did Allah give him apart from 72 virgins? 72 mothers in law.

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Hi is the longest two letter word in the world

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What did the man bring home from Africa? AIDS.

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Why did 12 people die when they went to see The Dark Knight Rises movie premiere? Because they were shot and bled profusely resulting in quick, painful death.

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I Used to be an Adventurer like you, Then I retired to achieve the top Anti-Joke.

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What do Jews suck? Because they lie, steal money, and start wars.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A black man is a human, with feelings, living cells and a loving and devoted family, while a park bench is made from wood and metal and used purely for people to sit on. In parks.

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A black man, a Mexican man and a white man walk into a bank. The black man reaches into his bag and pulls out his bank card, the Mexican and the the white man do the same as they need to withdraw money.

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Your mums a penis joke.

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a man walked into a bar ouch

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Why did Dom stop smoking He didnt I lied

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Knock Knock Who's there? No one. You're imagining things.

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a man walks into a bar, and gets mauled by a bear..... and gets a concussion

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Q: How many years does it take for a deer to grow into a moose? A: 7

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What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jelly is a clear or translucent fruit spread made from sweetened fruit juice, and set using naturally occurring pectin. Jam contains both fruit juice and pieces of fruit.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The IRS. You didn't pay your taxes so we have to take you to jail.

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Bailey you suck at writing anti jokes quit!!!!!!!!!!! :( :( :( :( :(

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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