Knock Knock! Who's there? Ze Gestapo!

why did the pinapple walk the plank? to eat a cat because cheese say people!

Why do guys love to wrestle? They like to have physical contact with other men.

What did God say when he mad another black guy? Danmit i burnt one again.

Why do you touch yourself at night? Because I do too

A girl talks to her boyfriend about collage. What is his responce? Nothing. No one talks about college.

how big is a midgets dick? i dont know but probably bigger then mine

How does Stevie Wonder pick up girls? He doesnt, he has someone do it for him

Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody actually knows this because the chicken could not tell us why he/she crossed the road so it would be nearly impossible to get the answer.

A Jewish man died in a car crash. His family mourned his death throughout the next few years.

A doctor is delivering a baby on April fool's day. He says, "Congradulations, it's a boy." He then says,"April fools! Your child was stillborn."

What is the difference between a car and dead babies? The car is legally obtainable by law and can run on gasoline, when dead babies are nonliving humans, and the owner of which would most likely be sent to jail.

A white guy, a black guy, an Indian guy, and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. They drink in moderation and discuss their children, the current state of the economy, and global politics before retiring home to their families.

Whats very large and produces alot of seamen. The US navy

So this guy walks into a bar. As soon as he gets in, a drunk dude punches him in the face ! The dude was drunk enough to not know what he was doing, but still sober enough to hit the guy hard ! So the guy had a cerebral commotion and died 2 days later.

" Hey you have something on your face. " ( man speaking punches the guy he was talking to ) " It was pain."

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

I thought I was a bird and I could fly Gravity painfully reminded me I was only a human

Why did the chicken cross the road? Unfortunately there are billions of chickens in the world and based on the question it is not possible to determine which specific chicken is being referred to. Even if we were able to ascertain this knowledge it would be unlikely that we could determine its purpose, as chickens don't usually make decisions based on logical thought.

Obama: And then I said there would be a change. (hahahahahaha)

Why did the little boy drown? He was stapled to a whale.

I swear to god it wasn't me! Dont swear to god its a sin !

Why didn't the blind girl say hi to anyone? Because she was blind.

what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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