How do you get a Blonde to switch seats with you? Ask her politely.

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what is the difference between coke and pepsi? -they are competing soft drinks made by different brands

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What has wheels and flies? An Airplane

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a man walks into a bar the other man ducks

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You's so ugly you should consider facial reconstruction surgery if it's covered by your insurance.

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How do you make a blonde happy? Do something that causes that person to release endorphins.

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Men, get on the boat.

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Q: What do you call a white guy cooking a dinner? A: A chef

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There once was a man from Peru, who dreamed he swallowed his shoe. But it turns out his dream was real, and he died because he could not digest a whole shoe.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 42

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods. The rabbit stumbles into a genie while coming to a clearing. The Genie says, "I will give you both three wishes." The bear thinks quickly and says, "I wish every bear in the forest was female." The Genie then grants the wish. "And...now I wish that each bear in the country was female!" The Genie grants the wish. "AND I WISH THAT EVERY BEAR IN THE WORLD WAS FEMALE!!!" the bear exclaims, now getting overly excited by his wishes. The Genie grants the last wish and then turns to the rabbit. "Your turn." The rabbit wishes for a pair of running shoes and the well being of his family and friends. For his last wish he points at the bear and says, "I wish he was gay."

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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A Palestinian and an Israeli both board a plane at the same time. They exchange awkward glances and take seats at different ends of the plane.

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This one time at band camp... I played an instrument and learned to march with the rest of my school's band.

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Why did the girl get hit by the bus. Because she was Helen Keller

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one day 2 strawberrys walked to the ice cream store and ordered a small cup of banana ice cream they were realley happy they were later taken in and tortured and raped

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Cows make a world go round and round They also live in the town town town They make a funny sound sound sound MOO MOO MOO MOO MOO Where do cows go on saturdays? The MOOvies I am Cow Hear me MOO I weigh 10 times more than you! Why are cows black and white? Cause they dont want to be racist

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*knock knock* Who's there? *Gorilla* Gorilla who? *Gorillas don't hoot, owls hoot*

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Why does batman wear a mask? Because if he didn't every enemy would know who he was, go to his house a brutally murder him.

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What is scary? Obama might get reelected.

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Q: What's up? A: Definitely not a plane, due to an unfortunate hijacking and terror bombing shortly after departure. There were no survivors.

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I like hats XD!

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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