What's black and fun to hang from trees? Tire swings.

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What's big, grey and can't climb a tree? A parking lot

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If you looked up stupid in Webster's dictionary, you wouldn't see a picture of yourself, because Webster's dictionary doesn't have pictures.

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family

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What would you rather do or drag a board?

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How do you get a Blonde to switch seats with you? Ask her politely.

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what is the difference between coke and pepsi? -they are competing soft drinks made by different brands

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what do you call a football team without players a group of coaches

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You's so ugly you should consider facial reconstruction surgery if it's covered by your insurance.

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What has wheels and flies? An Airplane

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a man walks into a bar the other man ducks

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Men, get on the boat.

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How do you make a blonde happy? Do something that causes that person to release endorphins.

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There once was a man from Peru, who dreamed he swallowed his shoe. But it turns out his dream was real, and he died because he could not digest a whole shoe.

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Q: What do you call a white guy cooking a dinner? A: A chef

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A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods. The rabbit stumbles into a genie while coming to a clearing. The Genie says, "I will give you both three wishes." The bear thinks quickly and says, "I wish every bear in the forest was female." The Genie then grants the wish. "And...now I wish that each bear in the country was female!" The Genie grants the wish. "AND I WISH THAT EVERY BEAR IN THE WORLD WAS FEMALE!!!" the bear exclaims, now getting overly excited by his wishes. The Genie grants the last wish and then turns to the rabbit. "Your turn." The rabbit wishes for a pair of running shoes and the well being of his family and friends. For his last wish he points at the bear and says, "I wish he was gay."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 42

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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Why did the girl get hit by the bus. Because she was Helen Keller

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A Palestinian and an Israeli both board a plane at the same time. They exchange awkward glances and take seats at different ends of the plane.

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This one time at band camp... I played an instrument and learned to march with the rest of my school's band.

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What is scary? Obama might get reelected.

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Why does batman wear a mask? Because if he didn't every enemy would know who he was, go to his house a brutally murder him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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