why did one crayon give another crayon the silent treatment? because they are crayons, unable to speak

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Where do astronaut cows go? Nowhere. There's no such thing as an astronaut cow.

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What is a panda bear? A bear with black and white fur.

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So I was eating pancakes in my driveway...or were they waffles?

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what is a model plus a poop plus a rhino plus a flamingo a peice of floob split in half or a shelby koon

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What do you call a black hitch-hiker? Stranded

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your mamas so fat all she gets for christmas and her birthday is girdles!

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Oh, I must be hearing things.

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Three men walk into a bar, they are promptly served and then they go home. Later that evening the bartender closes the bar and goes upstairs to his apartment where he is struggling with his debt... Business hasn't been as good these days.

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There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Question: What did one lesbian say to the other lesbian at the grocery store? Answer: Will that be paper or plastic?

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what do a fish and wood have in common? when they're dead, they float

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Why don't NBA basketball players shake hands after a game like players in NHL hockey...? ...Because it's a tradition in then NHL.

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what did the smoker say to the doctor? nothing she died of lung cancer.

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A black man and a jew both fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? the black man

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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how do you kill a blonde? hit her in the back repeatedly with a crowbar

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running from its imminent death. It was being chased by a dog with a shark's head and chainsaws for legs. It was only delaying the inevitable.

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Why did the deer die Because Jupiter is incapable of supporting life

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Why couldn't Sally ride a bicycle? She doesn't have a bicycle. She also doesn't have legs.

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Why are elephants gray? So you don't get them confused with blueberries.

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Did you hear about the cannibal who had a wife and ate kids?

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watermelons are red, pineapples are yellow. i'm not a poet, say hello for me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops