why did the white man jump out of the car? because the car was crashing

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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How do you get a fat man to drop a brownie? Make fun of him until he kills himself, and then drops the brownie.

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What do you call a black man with no education? An unfortunate outcome of our meritocratic society.

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Whats the worst part of having a Birthday on Feb. 29th? You only get facebook birthday wishes every 4 years.

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What's green , has 4 legs and if it fell out of tree on you , would hurt you ? A Pool table

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My piggy bank is empty. No change there then

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These might be offensive Events: * The Black Plague * The Columbine High-School Massacre * The Enron Scandal * The Great Depression * Hurricane Katrina * The Iraq War * Krakatoa * Mt. Vesuvius * September 11 2001 * Titanic * World War I and II People: * Adolf Hitler * Al Capone * Attila the Hun * Blackbeard * Caligula * Charles Manson * Ed Gein * Elizabeth Bathory * Idi Amin * Ivan the Terrible * Jeffery Dahmer * Josef Fritzl * Josef Mengele * Joseph Stalin * Kim Il-sung * The Ku Klux Klan * Nero * Osama bin Laden * Pol Pot * Saddam Hussein * The Taliban * Torquemada * Vlad the Impaler Diseases: * AIDS * Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis * Bubonic Plague * Cholera * Chronic Diarrhea * Cystic Fibrosis * Dysentery * Ebola Virus * Gonorrhea * Herpes * Leprosy * Mad Cow * Malaria * Necrotizing Fasciitis * Polio * Rabies * Scurvy * Smallpox Films: * Antichrist * Audition * August Underground's Mordum * Blue Velvet * The Boy in the Striped Pajamas * Cannibal Holocaust * Goodbye Uncle Tom * Gummo * Happiness * Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer * I Spit On Your Grave * Irreversible * Men Behind the Sun * Mysterious Skin * Once Were Warriors * Requiem for a Dream * Salo or the 120 Days of Sodom * Schindler's List * Taxi Driver * Vase de Noces Misc: * Alcoholism * Anorexia Nervosa and eating disorders * Arson * Bestiality * Cannibalism * Capital punishment * Castration * Child abuse * Colonoscopies * Coprophilia/phagia * Drug abuse/addiction * Electric torture * The gassing of cats and dogs that have been abandoned * Genocide * Human sacrifice * Losing one's favorite childhood toy * Mustard gas * Necrophilia * Neo-Nazism * One's grandmother dying * Pedophilia * Racism * Rape * Religious intolerance * Stillborn babies * Suicide * Walking on broken glass * Working on weekends Peter1-8

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Why did the chicken refuse to cross the road? Yo dawg, dat chicken saw dat hoe Sally crossin da road, dat biatch got hit wit a fridge. Dat chicken was like "hell naw, yall must be trippin, i aint finna die over dat shiet homie, peace!"

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what does the black guy order for a drink at the bar. kool aid

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What does a snowplow clearing an empty parking lot look like? A horse running freely in a pasture

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What did one hater say to the other hater? I hate you.

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What's awkward? Your phone going off at a funeral What's more awkward than that? Your ringtone is Highway to Hell

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Chuck Norris doesn't swim... He never learned

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. "Knock, Knock" "Who's There?" "Not Sally."

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How do you murder a blonde? You drop a bull dozer on her filled with 2 bulls, 100 wasps and a rabbit squirrel.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks.

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John Kerry walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says, "Hey, why the lost election?"

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What's the best thing about twenty six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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What do you call a retarded sheep? Whatever it's name is. There's no sense in torturing it by pointing out the disability which has made it a social outcast it's whole life.

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And then i said what about breakfast at tiffanies, and then you said i hate that movie.

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How does Bob Marley like his donuts? He doesn't, he tragically died of melanoma in 1981.

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Why is god mean? Cause he doesn't like you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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