what is black and green and red all over q: Nothing, you cant have 3 colors on the same surface

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Why was 7 afraid of 6? Because 6 accused him of cannibalism

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HAPPY NOVEMBER 2

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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A man walks by with a bat. A little girl crosses the street. He hits her with it because she is a little shit. A homeless atheist sees and reports it immeaditately to the authorities because it was child abuse.

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Did you hear about the blonde that went to college? She got a degree.

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How many anti-joke fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Or two if it's a really high bulb and you need a second person to hold the ladder for safety.

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What do you do when you have 2 eggs, but only want to use 1? I don't know. I guess you could just use 1 of them and save the other for another time?

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Two Jews were fighting over a penny and then they realizde that they may be made fun of for this and quickly stopped.

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Whats white and sticky? Rotten milk.

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Your mom is so fat that she has to wear large clothing.

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What's the best way to pick up girls? Lift with your legs, not your back.

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What's funnier than an knock knock joke???? Dancing narwhals pooping talking soup

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The red guy lives in the red house, the green guy lives in the green house, and the blue guy lives in the blue house. Who lives in the white house? The purple guy, he just hasn't painted his house yet.

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Ay Bee Cee Dee Ey Ef Gee Haych Eye Jay Kay El Em En Ow Pee Queue Our Es Tee You Vee Doubleyou Ex Why Zed Now you know your ABC, come along and sing with me!

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Ring. Ring. Hello? Hey, It's Sean Oh hi! How are you?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate sex Especially with you

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What did the tuna say to the fan I LIKE YOUR STOOL AHAHHAHAHHAHAH

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How do you make sushi if you are a fish? Commit suicide and sell yourelf to a sushi resturant!

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Knock knock (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) Fuck me, that's the most echo-y door I've ever knocked on.

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Shit!

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Chuck Norris doesn't swim... He never learned

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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