i hate it when Voldemort showers in my nutella

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What happened when the man rubbed the magical lamp? Nothing.

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What do you a call a guy on steroids? A Body Builder

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What's the biggest difference between white and black people? the melanin levels in their skin.

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Why did your mom cross the road? She Tripped and started rolling

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Why is this an anti-joke? Are you laughing? Exactly.

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What animal has four legs and one hand? Happy rottweiler

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What did the blind man look at when the girl showed him her cleavage ? ... Nothing... He's blind... >_>

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r jerks n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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So a seal walks into a club..

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What caused the Berlin Wall to come down? Gravity

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dog

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Why was the baby ant confused? Because his uncles were ants

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A russian gives away vodka.

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Why was the black man pulled over? He was going 10 miles over the speed limit.

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My name is actually Nero by the way, or Neron, which means black, have you ever played Mortal Kombat? There is a character there Named Erron Black, which is a total pun on that, there is also a character named Boraicho which drinks constantly while Borracho means drunkard in Spanish so yeah, Erron Black is simply an anagram for Nero Black, or rather Neron Black... Anyway, now that we got your brain nice and confused, I can increase the effect with OVER NINE THOUSAND! So your pictures "remastered" on photoshop or something?

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Because you killed my Llama. He was my best-friend.

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What's brown and sticky? Caramel.

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knock, knock! who`s there? it`s me ! who me? yes!

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Why is a blonde a door knob... Because everybody gets a turn

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Don't worry, I'm not as random as you think I salad

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Q:Why do people not live forever? A: Because they die dumbass.

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A straight guy, a straight girl and a bisexual guy walk into a bar. The bisexual guy is twice as likely to find a partner from a purely statistical point of view.

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A man is training his dog. He tells the dog to sit. The dog sits. "Good boy!" said the man. The dog did not thank the man for the compliment because dogs cannot speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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