ecks! why zee?

There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright in the middle of the night, To find nothing amiss.

Do you know what is dead on the carpet ? Your mother

What's worse than finding a fly in your drink? Gonorrhea.

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Heat oven to 375°. Grease 18 regular-size muffin cups (or 12 large size muffins). In bowl, mix butter until creamy. ... Add eggs one at a time, beating after each. Beat in vanilla, baking powder and salt. With spoon, fold in half of flour then half of milk into batter; repeat. Fold in blueberries.

What's the best way to look 10 pounds thinner? Lose 10 pounds

Why did the potato commit suicide? Forget that. Why was the potato alive in the first place?

Their, they're, there You're, your

what do you call a cow with no legs? ground beef

I spilled Spot Remover on my dog. Now he is blind and has chemical burns all over his body.

Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees - have nothing at all in common.

Why did Helen Keller's cat kill itself? It didn't, I did.

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What is worse than spending time with in-laws? Nothing.

What do you call a dead baby lying in the road? A Tragedy

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting cancer from a horse.

i hate it when Voldemort showers in my nutella

What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a tree? Nailing1 baby to 10 trees

What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family of four.

Your Mom.

"Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimer's. "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimer's. "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimer's.

There are four dead people on a boat. They commit suicide. Why did they commit suicide. To get to the other side!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz "Somebody left the gate open"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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