How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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How do you make a black man sad? You kill and mutilate his family maliciously

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Penis

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A tree walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the log face?".

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Whats worse than jackass 2.5? Jackass 3-D

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whats the diffrence between love and faling in love when u love some one your not falling

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My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son of a B**ch.

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What's the best thing about twenty six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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What time is it? Ask chuck Norris! Gosh!!

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What happened to the prisoner who dropped the soap while in the shower with other men? Another prisoner picked up and gave it to him and finished showering and felt squeaky clean.

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THEY SAY SEEING IS BELIEVING. I NEVER SAW 9/11! 9/11? NEVER HAPPENED -Jonathan

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Whats white and sticky? Rotten milk.

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Your mother is a man.

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What's Black white and red all over? Half a penguin

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Hashtag

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Why did the father not text back? He died in a car crash

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What did the Penis say to the Condom? Nothing. The human organ is not able to talk to another inanimate object, therefore it's impossible.

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Are you a human?

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Who livs in a pineaple under the sea? Lots of mold and bacteria

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you get when you cross an intersection? Possibly a lower leg contussion, ACL tear, breaks in 4 different sections of your arm and lots of brain swelling if you are hit by a car.

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An Asian Woman is late and is driving her car very fast to her daughters wedding. She arrives at a reasonable time to witness the whole event.

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What's long, black, and sticky? Licorice.

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because it escaped from the farm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops