what did the blind deaf mute boy get for christmas? some nice presents.

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I have Alzheimer. What?

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Everybody leaves except Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson never walked out alive

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs gets for Christmas? Cancer

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"Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimer's. "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimer's. "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimer's.

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Q: What's the difference between Bigfoot and an intelligent blonde? A: Whereas intelligent blondes are known to exist, most scientists discount the existence of Bigfoot and consider it to be a combination of folklore, misidentification, and hoax, rather than a living animal, in part because of the large numbers thought necessary to maintain a breeding population.

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a Black Swan walks into a bar......,,,.she then has hallucinations and imagines herself having lesbian sex with Mila Kunis...

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Why is Santa fat? Because the apples are red.

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A Mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The black guy because the Mexicans was recently aressted for a dwi and had his repealed. But lately he has worked towards cleaning his life up. They were actually driving to an AA meeting.

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A hipster gets summoned for jury duty. The case is solved promptly and everyone goes home happy.

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Why did jack smell smoke in his neighborhood? His house burnt to the ground.

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whats worse than getting the girl you're talking to taken from you? getting the girl you like taken from you.. by a asian.

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69

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch

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An atheist walks into a church

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A small boy called peter got stuck up a tree, a man walks past and said "how did you get up there?" peter replies "i fell"

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What kind of parrot can't mimic human voices? One that's just had it's vocal chords illegally harvested and sold on the black market

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Why didn't the black man feed his family? They'd eaten about an hour ago.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Roses are red, violets are blue ive got a gun so get in the van!

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what is a model plus a poop plus a rhino plus a flamingo a peice of floob split in half or a shelby koon

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A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock B: (frustrated), I thought we had that damn thing fixed!!!

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Roses are red Cranberries are tart It sure stinks when you fart

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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