How to you kill two birds with one stone? You use a precision hunting rifle to mortally wound two flying birds, then put them on a platform and break their skulls with one rock. Separately.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

all these jokes suck ass

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did 12 people die when they went to see The Dark Knight Rises movie premiere? Because they were shot and bled profusely resulting in quick, painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

my nAME IS ALAN AND IM NOT COOL

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call girls that can run faster than me? Virgins

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q.whats the differecne between a bicycle? A. orange,...a vest dont got no sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Someone asked me yesterday why my friend Portier is named after a sports car... I mean, fair enough, it is a common misconception but they live in the country and her Dad drives a tractor; think it through. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the man bring home from Africa? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's black and flies? Whatever it is, it's not a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

As little Timmy crossed the finish line his heart raced with excitement he had just won the big race. Later he and his family went home to celebrate they had pizza and chips and soft drinks. Then they played scrabble and watched spiderman 2. After that Timmy went to sleep. When his parents found him that morning they mourned and mourned because their hero little Timmy was still asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road Because you didn't fuking cook to -.-

thumb_up thumb_down -9

My name is Harry.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: what animal didnt get on Noah's ark in pairs? A: worms. they got on in apples.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: How many years does it take for a deer to grow into a moose? A: 7

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is scary? Obama might get reelected.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A black man is a human, with feelings, living cells and a loving and devoted family, while a park bench is made from wood and metal and used purely for people to sit on. In parks.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

two blondes walk into a bar... to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Penisland

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you keep a secret? Kill yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

25

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down -11

When's the right time to join reality? Right now! Get off your computer!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

So an Indian walks into a bar and says: ? ?? ??? ?????? ??? ??? ? ??? ??? ??????

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Back when I was your age, we had to entertain ourselves with video games and TV.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops