How do you stop a clown from laughing? Drive an ax through its head.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Why did the milkman die? Because everyone dies.

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Q

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Kelly Clarkson

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Roses are dead Violets are dead Im a bad gardener

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Q: How does a chicken get to work? A: A chicken does not go to work. Chickens can not legally be employed for any position in any country as they are chickens, are not human, and do not posses any prerequisites required to be hired for any existing employable position.

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A gay guy and a blind man walk into a bar. It's a gay bar. The blind man is also gay.

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Mac: Hi, I'm a Mac! PC: And I'm a PC. Steve Jobs died.

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What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

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why did the baby cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken -written by sion dafydd jones, uk

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

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Knock knock Who's there? No one Cool

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What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pilot.

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Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

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You know what they say about women with really big feet? They actually don't say anything.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 3

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Why did the man not open his door to the trick or treaters? He was a sex offender and it was illegal for him to open it...

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Whats better than 24? 25.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot. You racist bastard.

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You smell like shit

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Why did Billy fall of his bike HE HAD NO BIKE

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocost

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A man walks into a doctors and says 'Doctor, Doctor, I have a bad stomach ache' Upon hearing this, the doctor writes the man a prescription for medication and wishes him a swift recovery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops