- Anti Joke

peter charastabopouloulous

A fat guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "the regular?" The fat man replies, "actually this time I wanna try something different."

how do you make a plummer cry? you kill his family

When life gives you lemons... wait that wont happen

Patrick- hey spongebob i thought of something even funnier then 24 Spongebob- What patrick- 25

A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

A man is so drunk that the alcohol has a biphasic effect on the body, meaning that its effects change over time. Initially, alcohol typically produces feelings of relaxation and cheerfulness. Increased consumption, however, can lead to dehydration, coordination problems, blurred vision, and a great number of health, medical, and social issues and other drinking problems caused by alcoholism. As articulated above, excessive alcohol consumption can lead to drunkenness. One of the short term effects of intoxication is the lowering of an individual's inhibitions. As a consequence, when people are intoxicated they frequently do things they normally would not do while sober, often ignoring legal, ethical, social, and moral or religious norms. While blurred vision, slurred speech, dehydration, and coordination can be labeled as "alcohol short term effects," other health problems such as alcohol related heart disease, liver disease, and cancer, on the other hand, can be labeled as long term effects of alcohol abuse and alcoholism. This, however brief, is an overview of the effects of alcohol. What remains to be discussed, however, is what Paul Harvey calls "the rest of the story." Essentially, "the rest of the story" is a more detailed analysis of how excessive alcohol affects an individual's life and the lives of those around him or her when the person becomes an alcoholic and suffers from alcoholism. Perhaps the most logical way to discuss this complex topic is to focus first on the classic alcoholic behaviors and effects of alcohol in the four states of alcoholism; then examine some of the "social effects" of alcohol and alcoholism and finally, discuss the medical conditions, health issues, and drinking problems that are caused directly or indirectly by alcoholism.

Why was the bear rushing home after work? Because he was late for dinner.

well the duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man, running the stand "quack" then went on its way

I had sex. Just kidding.

what did one picture frame say to the other? Well you could answer with hows it hanging but thats not logical because they are inanimate

motley crew

Roses are red Violets are blue The sun is bright.

knock knock! who's there? a fat salesperson here to deliver your supplements

Why are you reading anti-jokes? ... why are you looking at me like that? I asked you a question, idiot.

A:Knock Knock, B:Who's There? A:Orange, B:Orange Who? A:Orange Banana.

So Jimmy's phsycology teacher is trying to think of beginnig lessons for her phsycology class. so she gets up and says "class, i want u anyone who thinks they are stupid to stand up." nobody stood up. then Jimmy stands up. The teacher says "Jimmy, u think u are stupid?" Jimmy replies "No, i just felt bad with u standing up all alone."

why is the black man black? because he isnit white

I lost my tractor.

What do you call a man with no arms and legs floating in the water? Nothing, because he would drown from his absence of limbs.

What did the monkey say to the owner of the world's rarest stamp? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

Why did the boat salesman cry? Because a puppet killed his family.

What do you call a black person at a 7-11? A customer.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Unfortunately there are billions of chickens in the world and based on the question it is not possible to determine which specific chicken is being referred to. Even if we were able to ascertain this knowledge it would be unlikely that we could determine its purpose, as chickens don't usually make decisions based on logical thought.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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