a sailor went to his G.P to see if he had HIV turned out he had hepititis C

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A man runs into a house and unloads a round of bullets killing 2 people in the kitchen. He wins Search and Destroy for his team at Nuketown.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock... Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

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Q:theres a man on a tight rope 3000 feet above ground and theres a man getting head from a 90 year old women with no teath. what did they both say? A: dont look down.

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is this the krusty crab? no this is child services were taking your children.

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Knock Knock whose there your biological parents REALLY No

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Heath Ledger.

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How do dinosaurs pay their bills? They don’t, dinosaurs don’t have a capital system.

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Roses are red, violets are blue i've got a gun, pointing at you

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A giant watermelon falls on a man He's dead

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Stewie: MOM! MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMA! MOMMY! MOM! MOMMA! MOMMY! MOM! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! Lois: WHAT!!! Stewie: Hi, hehehehehehe. Family Guy -Louis

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what did batman say to robin before he got in the batmobile get in the batmobile

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A man goes to see his doctor and says "Doctor, I have a pain in my leg." The doctor replies "That's the least of your worries, I ran your blood test and you have AIDS."

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A man is walking with a boy through a swamp. The boy says to the man, "I'm scared." The man says, "You think you're scared, I have to walk out of here alone."

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what glows blue and howls at the moon at midnight? I dont know but i had sex with your mother.

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neil patrick harris

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A conversation between friends ( or some what.) Joe: I'm thinking about going out of state for college ... Rick: your mom went to college! Joe: yes she did Rick that's why shes a docker and my families rich.

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The Pope

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whats worse than forgetting to buy cinnamon toast crunch at the grocery store? Getting beat to death with a gallon of rotten milk...

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you'r mom is so fat that whenever she goes to the doctors, they are concerned about her cholesterol levels and high blood pressure.

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connor sucks

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How do you make a baby cry? You punch him him the gut and slap him multiple times.

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Know what's worse than three bee stings? living every day in fear of your schizophrenic hallucinations

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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