Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I eat you and die of obesity due to high blood pressure and bad heart disease!!!

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What did the widow get for her birthday? Nothing from her husband.

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why are asians eyes so slanted? because THEY WERE BORN THAT WAY!!!

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When Nicki Minaj wrote her song "Stupid Hoe" she was sublimminally talking about her self.

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I'm so hot my father calls me son.

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says"what can i get for you Sarah Jessica Parker"

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Why are you reading this? You should be taking a shower, you smell like crap.

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Why did I have sex with your mom? Because she was a beautiful individual with a fine taste in the classical arts. She also offered me a ride to her place for a delicious 3 course meal. Afterwards our romance blossomed and we decided to have sexual intercourse to show our mutual appreciation for each other.

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Police say's 'have you been drinking' and you reply back saying 'YES' then the police brings out the blower and you blow, it says on it that you are fine, but then the cops ask you 'what did you drink' and you just say 'well i drank juice for breakfast then had some water, tea, coffee' the cops get really angry but before he says anything you say that ' I AM MUSLIM'

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Why was the man afraid of the pack of wolves? The man was blind and heard his stomach growling even though he had just eaten two buckets of KFC.

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What did the man say halfway through his sponsored trek across the Sahara desert? Well this was a dumb idea

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -A kazoo. -A kazoo who? -A small, simple musical instrument consisting of a hollow pipe with a hole in it, over which is a thin covering that vibrates and produces a buzzing sound when the player sings or hums into the pipe.

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A duck walk into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender hands him a glass and the duck drinks it. After finishing his drink he ruminates about how drowning his misery with booze won't solve a thing in his life. He decided he'll call his ex-wife and apologize and goes back home.

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What do you call a Nazi in an airplane? Above sea level

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Why did the man climb the mountain? Because he lacked excitement in his life.

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what is worst than finding a worm in your apple? finding half a worm in your apple

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike with no handle bars or pedals.

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i have a black person in my family tree he is still hanging

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i was going to say a gay joke butt f*** it.

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how do you kill a blonde? the way you would kill anyone, here are some examples gun knife noose or orange. wait wtf who kills someone with an orange

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What's green and has four wheel? A tractor.

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What's brown and green and if it falls out of a tree on top of you, it will kill you? A pool table

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Nothing yet CC

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what is a model plus a poop plus a rhino plus a flamingo a peice of floob split in half or a shelby koon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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