How do you kill a mocking bird. Shoot it.

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Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? You have HIV.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A bag of burning crap.

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when does lady gaga wake up? when she dreams about a bad romance

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Whats worse then getting hit by a truck? Getting hit by a turkey!

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Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

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Sure, if my waifu aproves, hell, the more the hornier. CONDOMS? ARE YOU INSANE? CONDOMS ARE FOR PUSSIES... ..:WHIIIIIICH sorta makes sense so okay, my for a moment I thought you where not gonna go trough with this... Nah just kidding, I already got you, now if you want to break free I am gonna be like "MEH!" So, uh, you shaven or not? Please dont be "trimmed", sometimes it just looks like a pussy with a mustachio, thats bullshit.

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Q: what is funny today A: your parents died in a horrible car accident

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what is long and bare? polonaise to the pediatric ward what is short and bald? same polonaise, 3 weeks later

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall?

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It was dead.

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why did the lesbians shop at modell's? because they thought the store had reasonable prices and considerable discounts

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A black guy walks into a bar... he sits down and has a drink

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Shane Murchan is GAY ..... :L

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How do you get a clown of a swing? Hit it with an ax.

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Not Steve Jobs

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Some dude and his son are driving to school. They get into a car accident so the have to go the the hospital. But when the doctor comes in, the doctor says "I can't oporate on this boy! He's my son!" Who's the doctor? His Mom.

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What do you call 10 black people on the moon? A problem What do you call 1000 black people on the moon? A problem What do you call the population of black people on the moon? A huge problem

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What is the best thing about chuck norris? hes holding a gun to my hea

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This is a swimmer Joke. Chuck Norris once lapped a kid in the 50 free... LONG COURSE.

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What's the difference between a duck, an engineer, and a leaf? There are many differences between these 3 that I will not list them all.

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Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

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You can buy me a rose, and if I love roses, that rose would make me happy, you can buy me a large house by the ocean, but if I do not like big empty spaces and dislike the sea, it would make me sad. I am no longer sure what would make me happy, so no.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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