A mushroom walked into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom said, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender said, "Exactly. It's a health hazard. I already have two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

What's black and blue and red all over? The dead woman in the dumpster.

yo mamas so fat... she's a map on call of duty

What do you call a dog that's having a stroke? An emergency animal hospital.

No, luke. I am your father. damnit

Chicken eats your pie filled with monkey guts!!

Why couldn't Timmy ride his tricycle? He was run over by a bus.

Maturity is a virtue.

What's the difference between a cow and a purple sweater? They're both purple Besides the cow

Knock knock. Who's there? Black guy. Due to your skin tone I feel you may cause potential danger to me and my family, so for that reason I will not allow you to enter my home.

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they are highly trained astronauts taking part in a multi-year space journey to explore part of the solar system that man has never dreamed to be feasible.

Why was little billy sad? He had a crouton stuck up his asshole.

how do you save a black guy from drowning. with a life preserver.

What's worse then a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

knock knock who's there? a murderer. a murderer who? a murderer who kills you and your family.

Why did Doctor Who visit Ancient Greece? Because has a time machine and has that ability

why did little johnny scream. he was getting torn to pieces

An Irish priest molested many children. He's still free today

Dylan Hodge likes to lick his mums penis to sleep every night.

Q: Why didnt the irishman walk out of the bar? A: He died of severe alchoholism and had a heart attack and died istantly

How do you make friends with a squrriel? Trust me, don't.

A black man and a mexican jump from a tree. Who hits the ground first? The mexican. The black man had a rope tied around his neck.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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