What is funnier than an uncontrolled explosions? Most things, because explosions damage property, and cause deaths.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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What is red and tastes like parsley? Red Parsley

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Why couldn't the blond turn the TV on? Because she is blond.

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a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z which one does not belong answer: none

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Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish. After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns. Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news. She opens the door and hears Fred sing: "Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"

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Why do Iraqi women never sleep with American soldiers? Because Americans always talk about pulling out but they never do!

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Where does the Queen keep her armies? In various military bases across the country.

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Q; Why to did the chef jump off of a cliff wearing an Elmo suit? A; Because he felt like it. It;s a free country

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What did one musician say to the other? "We should have gone to college."

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Person 1: Knock knock Person 2: Who is there??? Person 1: ..................................... Person 2: (Opens Door) Person 1: BOO i scared u and ding dong ditched u Person 2: Actually "Ding Dong Ditching" is when a one or more human beings search for a targeted house where they ring the door bell and run to a designated location to hide. After the resident opens the door to find out no one has stayed and waited, they close the door and the human beings quickly run up and repeat the task many as times until the resident finally catches them.

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A man walks into a bar, and has to go to the hospital because he broke his nose.

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A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

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CHICKEN it is a chickenly chickeny food we eat WRONG

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thermodynamics?

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A black man is stopped at a red light. He waits for the light to turn green and proceeds forthwith.

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jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water jack collapsed because of serious drug abuse and stress jill followed after not being able to handle the tragedy of her brothers death this wouldn't have happened if they got into my van when i asked them too.

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What do you call a girl with no arms or legs on the beach? Sandy What do you call that girl tossed into the water? Sandy Duncan

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? Doormat.

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Look out there's a bus in front of you

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why did the chicken cross the road? -----it didnt

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Snooki

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(approach girl) How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to fit into the same dress as you

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.... Take my wife..... .... She is lovely....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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