When Michael Jackson was making his last son, he named him Blanket... he was cold.

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why did the grandpa drop his big mak??? Because an army tank hit him

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he didn't have any arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Jimmy was a Potato.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i got one question Screw You

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That Awkward moment when your whole family dies

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What did the T-rex say to the velociraptor? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Why did the toast land butter side down. The devil visited earth that day and therefore everything that could go wrong did.

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How do you make a baby cry? You punch him him the gut and slap him multiple times.

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Girls

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Knock Knock Whose there. Mike Mike seriously I told you to stop coming here or ill call the police But I just wanted to talk to you Ok thats it im calling the police

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So my girlfriend says I'm a pedophile. What does she know she's nine.

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What do you call a black person at a 7-11? A customer.

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A duck sits down at a bar and orders a drink. After he finishes, he gets up to leave, when the bartender says, "Excuse me, sir, but you didn't pay for your drink." The duck turned around and said, "I'm sorry, I forgot." So he paid the bartender for the drink and left him a nice tip, and left the bar in a good mood.

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In Soviet Russia, it is the largest country in the world. A lot of the parts are uninhabitable though.

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Son: Dad what does it mean to f***? Dad: Jimmy! don't use that kind of language.. use the word chainsaw instead. Son: Ok, well what does it mean to chainsaw? Dad: Well as you know, God created people, he started with Adam and eve and then he- Son: You keep referring to god as a he, are you suggesting that God has a penis? I guess that would explain the big bang theory... right? get it? Dad: ... Go chainsaw yourself, Jimmy.

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How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? 23

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How do you make a ninja fly a plane? You put a gun to his head and say fly this plane.

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So an Indian walks into a bar and says: ? ?? ??? ?????? ??? ??? ? ??? ??? ??????

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A bold man said "well, here goes nothing!" Moments later, thats what happened

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven is a rapist.

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Why do migrant birds fly to the south? Because they can't get there on foot.

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How long will it take for a dog to paint a color wheel? I don't know.

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Whats yellow pink and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? Oh were you expecting an answer here, if i knew the answer i wouldn't have asked a question.

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How do you stop a car? Put on the Brake

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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