How do you avoid dying? You can't everything dies.

Roses are red pickel are green i split you legs whats in between

A man runs into a house and unloads a round of bullets killing 2 people in the kitchen. He wins Search and Destroy for his team at Nuketown.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house! Nock. Nock. Whos there? The Chicken?

Shit Happens....or sometimes it doesn't! As the person is taken to the hospital with severe constipation.

Gay's rights

How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except it didn't work for the boy with ice cream.

When life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians.

Why is the fat kid laying on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

a sailor went to his G.P to see if he had HIV turned out he had hepititis C

Whats gayer than driving a prius Buttsex

What happened when a boy used the wrong punctuation and grammar, plus forgot how to spell the word know? i dont ;now!!!!!!!!!

Q:theres a man on a tight rope 3000 feet above ground and theres a man getting head from a 90 year old women with no teath. what did they both say? A: dont look down.

is this the krusty crab? no this is child services were taking your children.

Roses are red, violets are blue i've got a gun, pointing at you

How do dinosaurs pay their bills? They don’t, dinosaurs don’t have a capital system.

Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

Knock Knock whose there your biological parents REALLY No

A giant watermelon falls on a man He's dead

Knock knock. Who's there? Not Heath Ledger.

A man goes to see his doctor and says "Doctor, I have a pain in my leg." The doctor replies "That's the least of your worries, I ran your blood test and you have AIDS."

Stewie: MOM! MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMA! MOMMY! MOM! MOMMA! MOMMY! MOM! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! Lois: WHAT!!! Stewie: Hi, hehehehehehe. Family Guy -Louis

what did batman say to robin before he got in the batmobile get in the batmobile

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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