A small boy called peter got stuck up a tree, a man walks past and said "how did you get up there?" peter replies "i fell"

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Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A: The dead baby was once alive, while the ferrari couldn't possibly have lived since it's a car and cars are inanimate objects.

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-What do you call the brown spots in your yard? Dog shit.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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if life gives you lemons...chuck them back and say i wanted muffins instead!!!!

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A duck walk into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender hands him a glass and the duck drinks it. After finishing his drink he ruminates about how drowning his misery with booze won't solve a thing in his life. He decided he'll call his ex-wife and apologize and goes back home.

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What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, oceans and beaches are both not alive, thus incapable of speech and feeling emotions

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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, your wife and kids die.

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I just met you! And this is crazy! I just took bath salts, and yor face looks tasty!

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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A man enters a bar. Two minutes later, a woman leaves a bar. What happened? A man entered a bar and a woman left. What's there to explain?

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Why dont you ever see black people at night? Because the majority of people sleep during the night, including the african americans

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why did the monkey fall out the tree? he lost his grip

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Joe Joe who? Your friend Joe OK come in

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Two men walk into a bar. You would have thought the second one would have ducked.

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Wombat monkey juice.

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Whats the difference between a pontiac and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a pontiac in my garage.

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Two men are sitting on the couch watching sports, the first man farts, the second chuckles. They continue watching their program.

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your mom is so blind she cant read.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have AIDS go get checked

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Why did I have sex with your mom? Because she was a beautiful individual with a fine taste in the classical arts. She also offered me a ride to her place for a delicious 3 course meal. Afterwards our romance blossomed and we decided to have sexual intercourse to show our mutual appreciation for each other.

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Q: why id the bird fly away from the boy? A: cuz he was scared

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i have a white dog on my and have the strangest boner

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Why do black people like Basketball so much? Because it is a sport participated world wide. They just happen to like it too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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