A man walks into a bar. While he sits on a barstool, a man greets him politely, and they proceed with light conversation.

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Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

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How do you get a dog to obey your rules?¿¿? Threaten to beat it with a rod!¡!

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A small boy called peter got stuck up a tree, a man walks past and said "how did you get up there?" peter replies "i fell"

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why didn't the black man feed his family? They'd eaten about an hour ago.

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What do you call a clock with no hands? Broken.

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69

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Why did the man not make any change at his job? Because he is Barack Obama.

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Why did the creator of Anti-Joke.com make the website? Because he probably wanted to promote his book and make more money.

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why did one crayon give another crayon the silent treatment? because they are crayons, unable to speak

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How do you kill a mocking bird. Shoot it.

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Not sure, its just a really rare combination, people tell me stuff like "oh they are really bright brown" like hell they are, I mean sorry but the hell they are. I prefer it the way you say it, they are red, really really red, and you do not say it as if I had something to be ashamed off.

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q

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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What starts with 's' and ends in 'ex'? S.e.x -XH

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why is black such a deprssing color because it symbolizes death

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Michael Brown

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What do you call a black man that robs a bank? A bank robber

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What is the cow doing? Because 7,8,9

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Where did the watch-dog take the blind man on Saturday afternoon? Wherever the blind man wanted to go

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Have you seen the movie "Constipation?" No. It hasn't come out yet! Of course there is no such movie in production and no plans for such a movie exist.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your mom is dead And your dad is too

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fruit salad?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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