What's black and blue and red all over? The dead woman in the dumpster.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What do you call a dog that's having a stroke? An emergency animal hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

No, luke. I am your father. damnit

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Chicken eats your pie filled with monkey guts!!

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Maturity is a virtue.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

What's the difference between a cow and a purple sweater? They're both purple Besides the cow

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Knock knock. Who's there? Black guy. Due to your skin tone I feel you may cause potential danger to me and my family, so for that reason I will not allow you to enter my home.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

thumb_up thumb_down +85

Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they are highly trained astronauts taking part in a multi-year space journey to explore part of the solar system that man has never dreamed to be feasible.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Q: What's fat and smelly? Q: What's worse than Nikki Manaj? Q: What's the bane of everyone and everything's existence? A: Kim Kardashian

thumb_up thumb_down +51

how do you save a black guy from drowning. with a life preserver.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why was little billy sad? He had a crouton stuck up his asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Roses are red-ish Violets are blue-ish If it weren't for Jesus we'd all be jewish

thumb_up thumb_down +45

knock knock who's there? a murderer. a murderer who? a murderer who kills you and your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did Doctor Who visit Ancient Greece? Because has a time machine and has that ability

thumb_up thumb_down +43

why did little johnny scream. he was getting torn to pieces

thumb_up thumb_down +43

An Irish priest molested many children. He's still free today

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Dylan Hodge likes to lick his mums penis to sleep every night.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=LJP1DphOWPs#!

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the little girl get a haircut? A; she has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A black man and a mexican jump from a tree. Who hits the ground first? The mexican. The black man had a rope tied around his neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson molested boys.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How do you make friends with a squrriel? Trust me, don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops