Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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Whats the differance between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

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Why wasn't there a rainbow? It didn't rain.

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What happened when the homosexual man came out of the closet? He was congratulated for winning the hide and seek contest.

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What did the mute person say to the deaf person? Nothing.

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Do you know what is dead on the carpet ? Your mother

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What's black and white and read all over? A zebra family that was just murdered by African poachers.

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Want to hear a cat joke? Just kitten.

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Why did the blonde have the biggest tits in 3rd grade? She's 21

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Bill: Whats 2 + 2? Joe: Your mom

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How do you burn a lot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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If the red house is made out of red bricks, the yellow house is made out of yellow bricks, and the blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is the greenhouse made of? Ah, I see what you did there. You are expecting me to follow the sequence based on how each house is made out of bricks the same color as their title. However, I am one step ahead of you and I know that the greenhouse is made out of glass panels. But what if it were made out of green glass panels? Then, I suppose, the sequence could continue naturally yet we still have a problem of units - bricks vs. glass. Quite the dilemma we are facing.

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, , /^\ ___ /^\_/ `...' /` ,__\ ,' ~ ( ,___\ ,, ., \ \___ \\\ .'.' .-. ) .'.-\\\`.`. '.-. ( / (==== ."". ( o ) \ ,/u `~~~'| / `-' ) "")^u ^u^|~| `""". ~_ / /^u ^u ^\~\ ". \\ _ /u^ u ^u ~\ ". \\ ( \ )^ ^U ^U ^U\~\ ". \\ (_ (\ /^U ^ ^U ^U ~| ". `\ (_ _ \ )U ^ U^ ^U ^|~| ". `\. (_ = _(\ \^ U ^U ^ U^ ~| ".`.; (_ -( _\_)U ^ ^ U^ ^|~| "" (_ = ( ^ U^ U^ ^ U ~| (_ - ( ~ = ^ U ^U U ^|~/ (_ = (_^U^ ^ U^ U / (_- ~_(/ \^ U^ ^U^," (_ = _/ |^ u^u." (_ (/ |u^ u.( (__/ )^u^ u/ /u^ u^( |^ u^ u/ |u^ u^( ____ |^u^ u( .-' `-, \^u ^ \ / ' .---. \ \^ u^u\ | ' ` ; | \u^u^u:` . `-' ; | `-.^ u`._ _.'^'./ "-.^.-```_=~._/ `"------"' Seahorse

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You wanna know the funniest joke ever? Justin bieber

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If a man has a gun, but no arms or legs, is he armed?

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Your mama is so ugly that she tried out for America's Next Top Model and did not get in.

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Roses are red Kittens are fluffy This doesn't rhyme Cupcake

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Why could the girl climb out of the pool? She drowned

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Look at that bitches asss!!

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Why did sally break her arm? A piano fell on her

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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Mike tyson

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? In this situation, the minority.

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Knock-knock who's there? interrupting cow interupting cow who? moo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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