two parrots are seated on a perch. One turns to the other and says, "Do you smell fish?"

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A man walks into a crowded bar and orders a beer. The bartender doesn't hear him due to the background noise of everyone talking and the man has to repeat his order.

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47

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why couldn't the man walk? Because his leg is broken.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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If you like this, it will have one extra like

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I can't remember if I have Azheimer's or not.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because at some point through out the day, it had been relocated to the other side of the road. Since it was feeding time, it needed to return to the chicken coop or else risk death due to starvation.

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HaHaHaHa... Was the last joke funny? Ya, well this ones not.

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- Mom, you've got a banana in your ear. - Son I can't hear you I've got a banana in my ear!

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A caterpillar walks into a bar. I don't know how he opened the door.

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how do you kill a jew? inject him/her with gratuitous amounts of cyanide until they cease to have brain function and a pulse.

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Q. What did the fat guy get for his birthday? A. diabetes

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What's purple and in my hand? Nothing i was lying about the purple

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A blind man sits down to read Anti jokes Whoops my bad

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What's white and hides in a tree. A refrigerator.

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What's a skateboard without wheels A snowboard

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Why'd the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one.

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A giant watermelon falls on a man He's dead

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what is the difference between coke and pepsi? -they are competing soft drinks made by different brands

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whats worse than seeing a repeated anti-joke? The Holocaust.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

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Q: How did Whitney Houston die? A: Who?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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