a man and a woman walk into a alley. They get mugged the man fights back out of pride and then gets stabbed the woman escapes and then goes to the police the man is then found two days later. *gasp* what a weird dream.

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A Guy walks into a Bar, has a good time and leaves

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Why did the asian fall over? He had a heart attack.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It was hit by an oncoming motorist in a busy intersection.

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You wanna hear a JOKE ?!! Justin Bieber has a DlCK !!!

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night? Cot death.

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How did the black man get put in jail? He didn't, he never did anything illegal

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Blind people can't read this.

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Why does it take more than one blond to replace a light bulb? Because one had no arms, thus requiring the help of another person. It just so happened that that other person was a blond.

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Why did the clown go to the doctor? Because he had a malignant tumor on his liver.

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Wanna here a funny joke Oh right. You can't hear

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yo mama's so fat!!!

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How do you starve a blonde? You tie them up and deprive them of any food.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's dead

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Colby is gay.... thats it

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Come on Red, I am linked with the fucking global bank, that does not mean I go there and get the money! The FBI keeps tabs on absolutely everything, everybody knows that, if Mike Tyson has a cup of tea there, they file him down. Its legal, its secure and incredibly expensive, but the FBI stands for the security of the US alone, that does not mean that they do not work with every other corporation, organization, affiliation,syndicate, and pff, anything. If you suspect that I somehow went from being one of the key members of the underground, to a fucking FBI agent, you can believe that, but then dont ask me for help, nor be my friend, without trust there is no friendship.

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what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

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Welcome to make your own anti joke! Please use tkeyboard usually available somewhere below this screen.

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Dogs

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Q: What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A: A pool table

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Orange" "Oh, hey."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the dog that was chasing it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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