A guy in a truck delivering furniture runs over a frog. Concerned for the frog, he pulls over and runs back to the frog and asks "Are you ok?" The frog replies "Yeah, you want to buy a cupboard?"

why did the woman cross the road? to get groceries for making more sandwiches.

You might be a Redneck...if your job requires you to work long hours out in the sun and you do not take advantage of sunscreen.

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

Two Gay Men Walk Into a Bar, Not Just Any Bar...... a Sports Bar and Enjoy a nice cold Beer with their Heterosexual friends while watching the super bowl. They both go in the back room, where it is dark, together........ and they call for the manager to find out where the chef is so they can tie him down..... and smother him....... in questions concerning the size of his....... buffalo wings stop judging people you ass.

Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: He was in one tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over to warn everybody in the other tower and while he was in the other tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on that park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich...not too much mayo...just the way he likes it.)

What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Toys -Lets Go MEts

Why is the sky blue? The sun reflects off the water molecules in all bodies of water

What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating on the water? Dead.

A girl was walking home from school, she had a pizza box in her hands, her mom was waiting for her in the car to take her to T.G.I.F, and then she dropped the pizza box in the middle of the street. In a frantic attemp to get the box, she run out into the middle of the street and got hit by a semi. Her funeral is tomorrow.

Johnny Manziel is the best quarterback ever (this isn't a joke only a true statement)(this is a remake of a previous joke)

What did the person do at the stop sign? Stop

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

I took your mother out to a fine seafood dinner. I never called her again.

How do you punish an electrician? Kill his family.

Roses are red Bacon is too Rhyming is hard bacon

what do you call a mixbreed of a bull dog and a shitzu? a sharpei

Roses are red-ish Violets are blue-ish If it weren't for Jesus we'd all be jewish

Your mama is so fat, her gravitational field varies with distance cubed!

Like if you like big tits.

Why is jim gay? because he likes men

Paul howley can't drive, phahahaha

Why we in a Falln tank!!!? Be cause the plane exploded!!!!!!!

Whats brown and slippery? A brown slipper.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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