What has 2 brown legs and 2 gray legs? An elephant with diarrhea.

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Why did the bus fall down? It was hit by a bus and then repeatedly battered by a blender

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Why did the Mexican guy run to the hospital? Because it was faster than walking.

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whats the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? the ferrari is not in my garage.

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What is worse than a baby nailed to a tree? The holocaust. What is worse than 20 babies nailed to a tree? A baby nailed to 20 trees.

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What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? My d**k.

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What happened to the peanut who went to NYC? Nothing because he was eaten on the plane

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What's the difference between a freezer and a baby? A freezer doesn't scream when I pack my meat into it.

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a mushroom walks in to a little boys party the boy says why are u here mushroom says because im a fun-guy (fungis,fungi)

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A grasshopper goes into a bar It is stepped on and crushed.

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What did Don King do with his new boxers? Put them on with a respectable pair of trousers.

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what do you call a 40 year old man working at a burger king that dropped out of highschool dyslexic

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Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

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Knock Knock Who's there? No one was there. It was two birds flew into the door and died.

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Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your penis tastes like shit.

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Why was the boy crying? Because his parents were in a car crash and died and his grandparents were already dead and he got cancer for christmas. And he had no testicles

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Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

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Chuck Norris once went skydiving. his parachute did not deploy. where he landed is now known as the grand canyon

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toast points

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A family of aristocrats walks into a talent agency and shows their performance. The talent agent asks: "How do you call yourselves?" They say: "The Aristocrats", "because that's what we are; Aristocrats."

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Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

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The internet is the most terrible fucking place in existence.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting cancer from a horse.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Set an alarm for an appropriate time

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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