Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? IT WAS DEAD.

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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what did the angry asian man do after chrashing his car? He died later in the hospital that night from a combination of severe head trauma, internal bleeding, and various fractures.

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Why was the Blonde Crying? -because she had just witnessed her infant get sucked through a jet engine and was very sad.

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you ever put a vibrating phone on your b a l l s ???

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Q: a blonde, a brunette, and redhead jump off a cliff, which one hits the ground first? A: Most likely the one that weighs more

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Am I the boss.No I was just offered the job

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if a dinosaurs could talk, what would they say nothing their all dead

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Whats worse than a blonde jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car, and orphaning two little girls who are beat in the orphanage and become homeless and unimportant and consequently jumping off bridges themselves?

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You can eat a pie. You can eat a chicken. But you cannot eat a human being because that would be called cannibalism and cannibalism is a felony that can give the government a right to hold you in an international detainment facility for up to 40 years.

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A black guy walks into a bar. When he saw the white bartender's bar he got offended. There were heads of hunted animals on the walls. He works for PETA.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? A disgusting halfbreed which prays daily for its own euthenasia...

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Why did the pasta not taste good? Because your mom made it.

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Seen the new batman movie? [spoiler] the audience dies

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Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Frank Frank who? I killed your grandma

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What was the worst part about the Holocaust? -When it ended

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People eat. Thats because we poop. No its the other way around. Sloppy Joes. Thats what my poop looks like. Oh no im eating poop in between two buns!

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What do you call a submarine full of soldiers shot by a torpedo? Tragic war heros, that we will remember and honor

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"Knock Knock" "Who the hell is it?" "Patri..." "Go the hell away!"

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9/11

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whats red that looks like ketchup taste like ketchup and is't tomato sorce? ketchup

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Q: Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? A: He was looking for pooh

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What did the pope do when he saw the grinch? He prayed for his soul.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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