Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +140

Once upon a time, there was a gorilla who found Suzie. Suzie was mauled because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +128

Part 1 - Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms! Part 2 - Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy!

thumb_up thumb_down +126

What is the difference between you and I? I obviously have a life aas you don't because you are still reading these stupid jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What is the difference between a cow and a pig? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What came first: the chicken or the egg? God.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the rap singer say to the other rap singer? "You just got served. Here, read this subpoena and sign it, verifying your understanding of the document."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a white person on a leash? A toddler.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock Knock Who's there? Frank Frank who? I killed your grandma

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the rabbit say to the frog? If you think the rabbit said anything, you need to see a psychiatrist.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? IT WAS DEAD.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Dear mom, I'm wearing skinny jeans. If I can't get them off, Neither can the rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +109

What does Helen Keller put at the end of every sentence? A period.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

who broke the little boys window? his abductor/rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Yeah Aodhans been typing up everything strting argument along with taggart

thumb_up thumb_down +31

British Dentistry

thumb_up thumb_down +27

did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? he's all right now

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What stinks and comes out of someones mouth. Bad Breath

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? A: He was looking for pooh

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Imagine Buzz Lightyear standing on the edge of a cliff. He jumps off hoping to fly. He manages to glide for a little bit until a bird crashes into him a cause one of his wings to break. What happens then? Simply imagine him turning into bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

People eat. Thats because we poop. No its the other way around. Sloppy Joes. Thats what my poop looks like. Oh no im eating poop in between two buns!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call a submarine full of soldiers shot by a torpedo? Tragic war heros, that we will remember and honor

thumb_up thumb_down -33

who is still together after all the crap they have been through? your butt cheeks

thumb_up thumb_down +44

what's worse than getting an unwarranted parking ticket? Serving a life sentence for killing the meter man.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops